Can a person commit adultery while never having physical contact with someone? Jesus seemed to think so for in Matthew 25:27 we read, “You have heard that it was said to those of old, ‘You shall not commit adultery.’ 28 But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
There are those who suggest that the commandments of the Old Testament have no bearing on the New Testament life in Christ. If we read the words of Jesus correctly, we find that Jesus presented a higher standard than Old Testament laws. In the Old Testament, there would have to be two or three witnesses to the physical act before one would be charged with adultery; however, Jesus said that if we even look at a woman to lust after her we already have crossed the forbidden line.
The Greek word translated “lust” in these verses is epithumeo (ep-ee-thoo-meh’-o). It means: …to have a desire for; …long for; or, …of those who seek things forbidden.
When we desire forbidden things in relationships, we open up ourselves to a demonic spirit that will do whatever it can to propagate the thought. When this happens, there is a connection made with the person lusted after that is called a soul tie. Soul ties can produce a serious connection with another person that is as powerful (or even more powerful) and damaging than actually having sexual intercourse.
I believe this happens far too often in workplace environments where members of both genders work in close contact with one another. It all starts innocently enough with being nice to one another over a work
project…and moves from there to coffee break chatter, …to sharing about one’s personal issues. This is especially dangerous when one of the workers involved is already having difficulty at home. At least one of the parties begins to feel that talking to this fellow worker is easier than speaking to one’s at-home spouse. Thoughts come suggesting that this work-associate understands better than does the spouse.
As this relationship develops, each encounter opens the door to a spiritual dynamic that escalates things beyond what each party would have previously wanted or imagined. At this stage, there is a fully formed soul tie that needs to be broken. Adultery in the heart has already been committed.
When you entertain thoughts in your heart that jeopardize your relationship with your spouse, you open the door to demonic activities in your thought-life that defile you, your spouse, and those in your family.
Like any sin, this must be exposed as sin and repentance must take place. James 5:16 says, “Confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another…” I believe confessing this sin to another opens the door to accountability and exposes the work of the enemy. With the love and accountability of someone such as a pastor or close same-sex confidant, one can sever this soul tie and avoid a demonic-set trap aiming to destroy one’s marriage.
Many are losing heart in the hope that their marriage will improve; we do not need the added destructive influence of a soul tie.
The German theologian Bonhoeffer said, “It is not your love that sustains the marriage, but the marriage that sustains your love.” As you endeavor to honor your marriage, God’s power in the marriage covenant will promote a healthy marriage.
“Test all things; hold fast what is good.” (1Thessalonians 5:21) Examine your marriage, make much of what is good, protect that good thing.
~ Written by Pastor Bill