By Kim Thompson-Pinder
I always find it funny when people ask me how I found Jesus because I never really did—He was always in my life from childhood. The only thing is, I didn’t really learn was who He was until I was 17.
I always had an awareness of God in my life. I knew that somehow He was helping me and that I really needed Him.
I had a very unusual life. To start with I grew up with a single dad in the ‘70s. Where I lived there were no other single dads, in fact there were very few single moms. I am a mulatto with a red afro which stuck out like a sore thumb, and I was at least a head taller than anyone else my age.
All these things made me feel like I didn’t belong anywhere. I never truly fit in no matter where I was because I was so different. Have you ever felt like that?
In school I was always teased and the other little girls didn’t accept me. They were nice to me when they wanted something and then made fun of me behind my back. It always hurt so much because each time I had hoped that they would change and finally accept me. When they made fun of me again it was another stab in my heart. It confirmed what I feared most. That I was worthless. So I spent most of my time with the boys.
Throughout all of this, I had a grandma who loved the Lord and prayed for me every day and who would tell me that God was real and was watching out over me. I believed her, and there were times I could feel Him calming my heart and giving me strength, though I didn’t understand that it was God doing it at the time. I thought that somehow it was just me, but now I know better.
When I was 12 my grandmother died and went home to be with Jesus, and even though I didn’t go to the funeral and most of family didn’t know Jesus we all knew that she was in Heaven. We knew that she would have wanted us to celebrate and we did so with an awesome wake later that day. It was a sad but really good day that started me on my journey to find out who God really was.
I ended up getting my grandma’s old King James Version Bible that had her notes in it. No one else wanted it because it was falling apart, but I knew that it was the one she read and loved, not the really big heavy fancy once that everyone fought over, but she had never even opened.
Because grandma read her Bible and prayed I did the same thing. I would read it from time to time, but it didn’t make any sense to me and every night and especially when I got into trouble I would pray. That went on for five years until everything changed in the summer I was 17.
My best friend got saved and committed her life to Jesus and started to talk to me about it, and something stirred in me and I wanted to learn more and more. It was like there was a part of me struggling to come alive and in reality there was.
She helped me find a church that was close to where I lived and I started going. Every week I was finally learning about Jesus and the price He paid on the cross so that I might be free and about how much He loved me. Every time I went I would come home feeling like I could fly.
That October my best friend invited me to a Christian concert and in it the performer invited members of the audience to come to the front and accept Jesus into their hearts and be forgiven of their sins. I knew that it was time I made it official.
He was already there, but I had never verbally or in front of someone asked Him in, so I went down and I have never turned back in the 27 years since.
I wish I could tell you that everything has been perfect in my life since then and that I have never struggled or had anything bad happen to me, but I can’t. Almost from the moment I got saved troubles began in my family and I had to learn to rely on Him.
This is what I can tell you, God does not promise that everything will be easy and perfect in this life, but He does tell us this:
“Be strong and of good courage, do not fear nor be afraid of them; for the Lord your God, He is the One who goes with you. He will not leave you nor forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6-8
I can say honestly that He has never left or forsaken me. Through the years he has healed my heart from many hurts and pains. I am no longer that little girl who doesn’t fit in. I am loved and accepted not only by God, but by my church family and it is an amazing thing.
I am still unique, but I have come to realize that God made me that way because He has a job for me to do, that no one else can. Everything that is unique about me allows me to do what others cannot and that makes me happy.
God wants you to be free and happy too. He wants to come into your heart, forgive you of your sins, heal your heart and body and one day when you die He wants to spend eternity with you in Heaven.
It doesn’t matter where you live, you could be from PEI or the furthest corner of the earth, and it doesn’t matter what religion you grew up with or what you have done. Jesus is waiting with open arms and loves you just the way you are. Don’t wait any longer. Invite Him in. You will never be sorry that you did.
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