Last year my son got married and it was one of the proudest moments of my life, watching this child that I had raised to serve the Lord take a Christian wife and start a new life with her. But…
By the time the day came, I was exhausted.
One of the things I love about God is how He can use everyday things to teach us about Himself. So let me share what I learned during this journey and give you ten tips that you can use to have a Christ-centered wedding.
1. Put God first
As important as your wedding day is, it is only one day in the rest of your life. It is not THE most important day of your life. I have been married for twenty-five years now and I can tell you that you will have many important days in your life. So how do you keep this day in perspective?
You put God first. Spend time with Him every day. Pray and read the Word of God. Ask Him what He wants for your wedding and then obey.
2. Budget and don’t go into debt
You do not want to start your marriage off with the stress of financial debt. Sit down with your spouse-to-be and other financial contributors (such as parents), set a budget and don’t go over it. If there are things that you really want of feel that really should be a part of your wedding day and you don’t have the money for it, pray and trust God to give you what you need or change to your heart so that you don’t want it anymore. Which leads us to…
3. Decide what really matters
If you are on a tight budget, then sit down with your spouse and decide the things that are absolutely the most important to you and focus on those things. If there are things that you can let go of, then do so.
4. Deal wisely with family
This is a hard one because there will be times that you are going to have to stand up and say no to what your family wants, and there will be other times when you need to let go of what you want. It is a very fine line that can only be decided through prayer and really listening to God. You don’t want your wedding day to come with everyone hating each other. Peace, unity and love in the family is more important than any one detail.
5. Get godly pre-marriage counselling
If you take your vows seriously, you are going to be spending the rest of your lifetime with this person. Don’t miss the counselling because you are too busy planning this one day of your life. As important as your wedding day is it is all the days after that you truly need to prepare for.
6. Make time for your future spouse
The last week before my son’s wedding was so busy and stressful and it was starting to take a toll on my son and my future daughter-in-love (there is no law between us, only love). They were starting to fight and get angry with each other and I saw it.
I stepped in and told them to get away for a few hours from everyone and forget about the wedding and just do something that they enjoyed. They had been so busy getting ready for the wedding that they were missing out on enjoying each other’s company.
Your relationship with your future spouse should be more important then your wedding day.
7. Stay organized
One of the best ways to stay organized is by having to-do lists by category. You then take each list and put a star besides the ones that absolutely have to be done today! This will help prioritize your day and only work on the most vital aspects of your wedding.
Staying organized will also help you to have less stress and be more relaxed. You will also accomplish more in less time because you do not have to figure out what you are going to have to do first!
8. Ask for help
There are so many things that you can have other people doing to help you and here is the thing: they want to help. There are people whose gifting is serving and they are the happiest when helping someone. Bless them by allowing them to help you with the things that you cannot handle.
If you are on a tight budget but there are things that you still want, then ask. People may have things that you could use just lying around their house that they are willing to give or lend to you. Or they may know of a substitute that you can get for a good price. Be willing to ask because you never know how others may be able to help you.
9. Go to the Bible not wedding magazines
It is so easy to get caught up in what the world thinks your wedding day should be with all it big and fancy things. Yes, it should be a great day of celebration, but do you need a $10,000 dress or reception just because the magazines say that you are worthless if you don’t?
Make sure to keep your priorities in place and don’t be influenced by what the world or others think your wedding day should look like. Which leads to…
10. Your wedding day is a witness to the world
This will be one of the times in your life when your unsaved family is going to show up in church and be a captive audience as you get married. This is a time for them to see the love of God in action and plant seeds that will grow and draw them to Christ. Don’t miss this awesome opportunity to be a witness to them.
My son and daughter-in-love did something really unique during their ceremony that had non-believers asking questions and, which gave us an opportunity to witness about the love of God. They took communion together and they washed each other’s feet during the service and it made an impact on the non-believers there. They saw love in action.
Always remember that your wedding day is only the beginning of your married life, not the be-all-and-end-all. After twenty-five years of marriage I can look back fondly on my wedding day, but there have been so many other just as wonderful days, that were just as important and they make me smile too.
Have a wonderful, blessed, happy wedding day!
~ By Kim Thompson-Pinder
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